Goals of the Hash as stated by the 1938 Kuala Lumpur Hash House Harriers Charter are:
- To promote physical fitness among our members
- To get rid of weekend hangovers
- To persuade older members that they are not as old as they feel
Finding good leadership to live up to these ideals is a difficult thing at best. Well, we the Bakersfield Hash House Harriers have failed miserably and this task and have given up even trying to find any qualified people to manage this crew. So since a significant number of BH3 is comprised of Oil & Gas people, we have decided instead to follow the ENRON inspired style of management. We can report with great confidence that we have achieved this goal. The following is the absolute bottom of the management barrel, so in other words they are perfect for this group of wankers.
| Bakersfield Hash House Harriers Mismanagement and Other Information |
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| GRAND MASTER |  |
Appointed by the outgoing Grand Master, chairs meetings, and is master of ceremonies. | BUTT HOCK |
| RELIGIOUS ADVISOR |  |
Grants tingums and punishes the wicked with down-downs for crimes committed on trail. | LIMP NOIDS |
| HASH CASH | |
Embezzles the Hash accounts. |
BUTT HOCK |
| HARE RAISER CHIEF HARASSMENT OFFICER |  |
Arranges for future runs and stays one step ahead of the law. | BRING EM YOUNG |
| CHOIR MATTRESS |  |
Leads Hares in song during down downs. Lowers the bar even further on singing. |
BLOODERY NIPPLES |
| CO-CHOIR MATTRESS |  |
Carries a worst tune than Bloodery, Yes it is possible. | PUSSY WARTS |
| BEER WENCH |  |
Offers up some of the finest jugs..of beer..in town. | DALI LABIA |
| HISTORIAN | Stores stats, copies of t-shirts, Hash sheets and photos. | DAMMIT JANET | |
| HASH SPIDER |  |
When not looking for Hash Honeys on the web,the Webmeister of www.bhhh.us | DIA BLOWER |
| HASH LINE |  |
661.MED-FLYS Runs every Monday 6:30pm | |
| HOLY SACRAMENT |  |
Pabst Blue Ribbon is the sacramental beverage of BH3. It is every BH3 haser’s quest to look for PBR on tap. | |
| MOTHER HASH |  |
Abandoned at birth by our mother hash H4. Houston Hash House Harriers www.h4.org |
|
| FOUNDER |
 Big Pete - Founder BH3 |
Our George Washington |
Big Pete |
Hey BH3! Princess Blow Job, a friend and fellow half-mind is planning on making it to tomorrow’s hash as he passes through Bakersfield on a trip across the US. He’s travelling in an RV and would appreciate help getting a place to park and maybe hookup (electrical you lowlife!). If you can give him hand (now stop that!) please call him: 805-448-3499.
I’ve been hashing in South Korea but will be returning to Bakersfield soon and I’m looking forward to joining all of you.
I’m posting because I saw something about the quest for PBR on tap. I know times change, but Fishlips used to have PBR tap, not a particularly cheap place to go, but you can always give them a shot.
Fishlips
1517 18th St
Bakersfield, CA 93301
(661)324-2557